My grandmother had a super memory. She remembered everyone’s Birthday. As in most Hindu families, in our family too Birthdays were celebrated according to the nakshatra on Malayalam month. So it would not be the same English date every year. We have to refer the panchangam to find Birthdays.
The number of members were too many, still Ammoomma knew the Birthdays of three or more generations of our family. Almost every day was the birthday of someone in the family. I used to accompany my grandma to Thirunnakara Mahadevar Temple when a Thrimathuram and an Archana was performed on the birthdays. The days started religiously.
If the person is present in the house on that day, a feast would be made. That is the special occasion when one can sit at the head of the line just near Nilavilakku where sadya is first served for Ganapathy.
Everyone should enter the kitchen only after taking bath. Every dish was freshly made without tasting. As Ganapathy was to be served first, we couldn’t test the taste of the preparations. The sweet dish payasam, pappadam and a preparation with curds was a must for every birthday.
Grandma didn’t allow us to wear new clothes on birthdays. The best dress we had we could wear but it should have been washed atleast once. It was one of her beliefs that as new clothes are worn on a dead body it is inauspicious to wear on a birthday. I remember her toothless smile when she explained that to me..She knew she had many beliefs which would not be accepted by the next generations. But it is surprising that many of us who opposed to such beliefs in our young age are following what she taught us.
Everything is served on a plaintain leaf before the lighted lamp [Nilavilakku] kept on a seat made of wood. Water is sprinkled 3 times around this, with this we believe Ganapathy has accepted our offering and only after that anyone is allowed to start eating.
The birthday person has the next seat to Ganapathy in spite of his/her age, young or old. Everyone of us especially we children felt very special on our own birthdays. It was only on such days that we children were allowed to have lunch with elder men, [karanavars] of the family. Even then women were not allowed to sit there.
Grandma would instruct us not to say the word ‘enough’ when lunch was served on our birthday. She believed Brahma would be saying Thathasthu at that time and we would be denied enough food in the future. That is the only day she allowed us to leave a grain of rice or a piece of vegetable when we finish eating. Otherwise she would say Lakshmi can be in the rice you wasted so never waste food.
Morals were taught to us through stories or religious beliefs. I think that is the greatest wealth each member of Kizhakkedathu family possess and still inherit to the next generation.
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