Everyone who enters the kitchen would draw atleast a few buckets of water from the well. Even then none of those large vessels would get filled. The menu was almost the same everyday, but a large quantity of food was to be prepared.

The men of the family, Ammoomma's two elder brothers stayed in another section of the house. They were never seen entering the main section where only women and children stayed. Even the well had an access from outside, and a male servant would be filling water in their bathroom. I loved watching this and would imagine when I grew big enough, I would fill those vessels atleast once. The buckets going down and hitting the water with a big splash and coming back filled with water was an amusement for me. One day I heard mother explaining to someone how a servant girl fell in the deep well. Pappachettan, Ammoomma's younger brother tied a chair on ropes and he went down in that chair and saved the girl. It was a real heroic act of Pappachettan. He was a chronic bachelor and a Gandhian. He wore only white khadi. He was always seen on his easy chair reading books. He knew carpentary and made a few tables and chairs. Another of his hobby was gardening. A portion of the frontyard was kept for his garden. Sometimes there would be a lot of roses with flowers, sometimes some other flowering plant. Whenever he gets angry at something, he would cut off all the plants. He would shout at Ammoomma and Paruamma too. So in a way I hated him. Many times I secretly wished he would fall into the well and die.. I was so dependent on Ammoomma, she was everything to me, that I started disliking anyone who annoyed her. Many a times I would stamp Paruamma with my small feet for her grumbling at Ammoomma.

Ammoomma would get up even before the sun rises. I too would walk slowly holding her dress, careful not to stamp on anyone sleeping on the floor. But she couldn't open the heavy wooden door without making the brrr sound. Then she would light an oil lamp towards the east and uttering her usual prayers move to the kitchen. Outside the kitchen Paru amma the servant would be sleeping. Ammoomma would open the kitchen door with as much sound as she can and Paru would get up with a jerk and start her day grumbling.

The kitchen was a dreadful place for me. It was always dark and there were many cockroaches. There was a wooden container with a sliding lid which was used to store salt. Every morning I see a cockroach coming out of it and Ammoomma would shout at Paru for not closing the lid properly.

The day started. The sound of drawing water from the well and sweeping the frontyard will wake up every member. I would sit on the large wooden box in the kitchen and watch others. Only when there is light outside I'll move from the sight of Ammoomma.

There were many children in the house. But I don't think anyone was so insecure and less confident as me.

The first ever memory of my life starts when I was around 4 years old. There were many people gathered in groups talking in low voice and I didn't know what was happening. Then I saw dear Mattemma, my grandmother's mother lying on the floor alone. Though I didn't understand death, I felt very sad. I still remember the song she taught me about the bird who lost her egg, searching for it, and the song described all the animal kingdom.

She was buried in the backyard and her cot remained empty. There were more people than the number of cots in the house. Mattemma had occupied the room on the ground floor of the double storied portion of the house. After her death, her cot too was brought to the hall where we all slept. Now there were 3 cots in the hall. One was permanently reserved for grandma's elder sister whom we called, Gowri valliamma. She lost her eye sight due to old age. Another cot was meant for Ammoomma. According to my observation she was the most unfortunate member of the family. But she was the most capable, loving and ever pleasant woman who held the family together. I have a whole story to write about her, which I will add later. Ammoomma's cot was always occupied by any member who was ill in the family. So she slept near me on the floor. There were a good number of children sleeping on the floor. The third cot had a mother with an infant. In my earliest memories, it was my mother with one of my younger 3 siblings.. On one side of the hall there was no wall but an iron grill. Mats were spread on the floor for us to sleep. We were all afraid of the dark.

I still wonder why there was so darkness everywhere. The bulbs gave such dim light, we couldn't see each other's face. Outside the house it was so dark and I feared that darkness so badly.

I remember that house, where I was born and spent my childhood. Though the main section is just a memory, other two sections of the Tharavadu is still maintained and renovated. Situated in the heart of Kottayam, named 'kizhakkedath' which means facing east. The house was home for 5 generations of people.
Two couples who migrated from Calicut during the attack of Tippu Sultan, found a home in that premises.
I belong to their fifth generation. I was born in that dark corner room of the main building, which was used as the family's labour room. Don't know how many infants were born there. But I remember my mother mentioning proudly that it was a lucky room for all women as there was not an infant death or deformed child born there. Eliamma was the all in all responsible for all safe births. She was a Christian midwife who came to help the lady in labour. Every child was touched by her as it came to the world, but ironically the family was so orthodox poor Eliamma was not allowed to enter any other room of the house.
This labour room on the western side was built higher than other rooms with an attached bathroom. The room was so dark with only an air hole on the top of the wall as ventilation. Before each delivery Ammoomma would disinfect the room with dettol and Paruamma would be helping her. My memories don't start with that room, but a large number of people gathered in the house. I was around 4 years old. Yes. I remember that day......

Hinduism- Characteristics and attributes of Krishna.

Krishna is God himself, the Absolute, the Brahman, the Supreme being, the complete incarnation of Vishnu, and the great exponent of the Bhagavat Gita. To his devotees, Krishna is the favourite philosopher, teacher and friend. In fact, Lord Krishna and the Lord who dwells in the heart of all beings is one and the same.
The Vedic “uttama sidhanta” which is Srimad Bhagavatham confirms Krishna as the “source of all Avtars and the cause of all causes.” Lord Krishna is the deliverer of the Bhagavat Gita. Krishna when he was on earth as an avatara protected the virtuous, redeemed the wicked by ending their worldly existence and established righteousness on earth.
According to the sentiment and faith of the worshipper the form of God- realization varies. Realization of Krishna by his Grace helps one come out of his ignorance. Doubts and confusion are dispelled, and one’s Karma is exhausted.
Bhagavat Gita, the words of Krishna discuss at length the paths of devotion, knowledge and action.The Lord advices to follow the path of action with special emphasis on devotion.
He who worships Krishna as his own self, becomes one with Brahma or the Absolute. Bhagavatam describes Him as this—“To those who regard him as absolute or formless, he is devoid of attributes or form (XII.3). To those who look upon him as qualified and formless, he is possessed of attributes though devoid of form. (VIII.9). To those who view him as almighty, all-supporting, all-pervading, all-surpassing, i.e, adorned with all excellent virtues, he is endowed with all noble virtues(XV.15) To those who hold him as embracing everything, he embraces all.(VII.7-12). To those who recognize him as possessed of form and attributes both, he reveals himself as such. (IV.8)”
Bhagavatham says- “ He who looks upon well-wishers and neutrals as well as mediators, friends and foes, relatives and objects of hatred, the virtuous and the sinful, with the same eye, stands Supreme” …That’s Krishna.
Krishna was born in the Dwarpara Yuga. He is embodiment of love and divine joy. Krishna is an instigator of all forms of knowledge and born to establish the religion of love. He came as the messenger of peace.
Lord Krishna in Bhagavat Gita mentions the merits of Knowledge with realization. The Sanskrit verse can be translated as; “This knowledge with realization, is the sovereign of sciences, and mysterious, and is, supremely holy, most excellent, directly realizable, very easy to practice and is imperishable.

i hate cooking

When will I have an escape from this kitchen? It's my mother who tricked me into this cooking, saying it's an art, & every girl should learn this art, etc. When I grew old enough to get married she made me cook for large number of people in the pretence to teach me cooking. And I fell for all the praises I got with my preparations.

After marriage when i shifted with him, i carried loads of receipe books & paper cuttings & tried my culinary expertise on neighbours, friends & his collegues. I didn't know I was getting entangled in a web, just like that of a spider, giving nutrition to all, & never being able to escape..

Now I'm tired & I hate cooking. Wish every meal would be served to me by someone. The men in the house all with good appetite will never let me out of this boring job. I tried all my emotions there in the kitchen. Adding more spice, making it too salty, frying till it burnt, but no use.

Will I ever be able to escape, I wonder!

Govind

Today Govind my eldest sister’s son from U.S sent me a mail, which made my day. He’s the 1st grandchild my parents got, so the love & pampering he got as a baby was boundless. I was free as I completed my studies & was waiting to get married. So I was with him all the time, watching him grow every minute.

He was a few months old & my sister started going to office .So it was my duty to look after the child which I enjoyed a lot. One day after his usual bath, I dressed him up,in new clothes [almost every day I stitched a new one for him].That day he was crying too much. I took him around the house, put him in the cradle, no use, he did’nt stop.Then came the idea, I thought I’ll sing a lullaby & put him to sleep. So I started on high pitch at the top of my voice, just like that opera singer. Suddenly the [frightened ] child stopped crying & gave me a slap on my face as hard as the petal soft hands could. But his tiny finger got in between my teeth on a hard bite.Oh! that was real bad, he might have fractured his little finger.

U can imagine what happened next. My mother & the servant came running, but I dared not tell anyone what had happened .My mother found out his sore finger & thought it as an insect bite,[a big insect indeed] & applied some haldi & bandaged his tiny finger.He had a sore finger for a few days but I never told this to anyone. The lesson I learned was a good one, about my talent in singing!!